Health

Brain Tumor Survivor Stats…1 year out

DEC. 3, 2016

So my 1 year update MRI is in….
12mm x 10mm x 6mm – Nov. ’15
12mm x 10mm x 6 mm – Nov. ‘16
This means…. {NO GROWTH}

Now, the question on the table, the question I have been sitting with all week…

DO YOU NEED TO KNOW THAT THE BRAIN TUMOR IS REMOVED? OR WOULD YOU BE SATISFIED KNOWING THE GROWTH IS ARRESTED?…

Well….no growth for a year does mean my tumor is arrested…is that enough?…

This was a tough one with me this week. The problem solver. The goal oriented achiever.
Yes, absolutely with out a doubt I am so so thankful there has been no growth!!
Yet, I did want to see progress!…I had to keep myself from spinning out…another year of this…ugh !!

Am I SATISFIED…well what do you think?
That was a clear… NO!
(I didn’t even have to muscle test that one.)

I spent time this week regrouping and realigning with the BIG Picture.
I traveled thru the lessons, learnings, healing and growth the last 12 months have been about and I get the bigger picture…Just because I “get it” though doesn’t mean it is not hard to face.

My goals now:
– Continue to seek and find answers and the right treatments for my tumor symptoms and pain management.
– Continuing to take good care of myself (adequate exercise and sleep) so I don’t get Physically depleted.
– Continue to increase my ability to FACE this HEAD on. Which means continuing to take action & not give up.
– Continue to nourish my brain and central nervous system with the best supplements and nutrition
– Continue to surround myself with the people who are loving me and supporting me thru this and that with me hold that hope and Vision of a clean MRI and the most optimal health I can achieve with the cards I have been dealt.

Please continue sending your prayers, love and light. Please continue to pray for more healthy painfree days and less migraine days, less hours and even less minutes.

Love and health to ALL of YOU!!
Meredith Mills

mkm

How do you tell your child that you have a brain tumor? and not let your own FEAR scare them to death?

I just had a conversation on the way to school this morning with my 10 year old son, Ryder, about Brain Tumor Awareness Week. Yes! It’s this week!
I asked him what he remembered about that day, the day I told him that his Mom had a brain tumor…(he was 8 yo at the time).
“I was surprised, Mom, I wasn’t scared… I was just surprised”…
Ahh…I breathed a deep sigh of relief and thought …“Well done Mama”….
In those first few days of being diagnosed, I confess that I was as emotionally stable “as a piece of furniture from Ikea”…. however, I didn’t want my kids to experience that with me !!! I myself was uncomfortable and having a hard time processing all these emotions.
I wanted them to experience me as they always had; strong, stable, steady, solid. (Of course also happy, healthy, vibrant, playful & fun but those were temporarily on the back burner.)
As their loving Mama, I had always made a point of telling them that I could be counted on no matter what, that I had their backs, and that I would always love them unconditionally, no matter what. Those values were now in question.
There I was swimming in the whirlwind of emotion. Emotion that I needed to experience to figure out my treatment plan and accept, come to terms with and allow what was happening for me. I was feeling it all:
– fear
– grief
– anger
– sadness
– frustration
– pain
I knew I was feeling all these feelings that were triggered by having to face and “deal with” being diagnosed with a life threatening illness or disease. However, I knew I needed a strategy of how to deal with my own personal journey but also be strong for my kids. I wanted to be that good teacher to them, I wanted to weave the vulnerability of honesty and truth, but also faith and strength into the tapestry of our family experience. These small ones in my life were, and always are, like sponges, they absorb everything. I didn’t want them to take on too much nor too little.
On my own, I diligently faced my own perceived loss of health, loss of control, loss of confidence, loss of life as I knew it. I faced being frozen in my tracks. But with them I showed up with borrowed faith, for their benefit and then in turn my benefit as well.
What I remember about that day is I sat down with my kids to intentionally share with them to the level in which they “needed to know”, at the level that would inform them but not overwhelm them. Face to face.  Looking them both into their eyes. I led with “Mom is going to be okay…..Mom is healthy and strong….but…right now I have to see a lot of Doctor’s and get a lot of treatment…I am going to need a lot of rest. No matter what, I love you and I am going to face this thing head on. You have my promise! Nothing is more important in my life than being there for you! It might take a few weeks…it might take a few years before I am back to 100% but know that I will be here for you!!!”
So with Ryder’s words this morning,
“I was surprised, Mom, I wasn’t scared… I was just surprised”…
I am thankful and full of gratitude that all my intentions were honored. Ryder was, and to this day, informed but not overwhelmed. Aware of what I am going thru, along side me in my journey but not scared.
So in my book, choosing to live in Love over FEAR will always be the right answer. I gotta be here for these Kids!! For me! For my life-purpose…after all I more than know that I am just getting started, just getting my feet wet, on this life of service, life purpose path.
In health, In healing and more importantly in great Love,
Meredith
mkm

The Universe Leaves Clues…how fainting at a party was a health clue for me and what meditation questions you can ask your body

{The Universe Leaves Clues}…YES, fainting can be a CLUE

Mar 28, 2017

3 years ago, I was in LA for the weekend at a big coaching event. I was studying to become a Life Coach and the first of four Live training meetings was having it’s evening kick off party.  I’d flown into LA that morning, took a 10 mile run to the Santa Monica pier and back, (yes, my favorite way to do sight-seeing when I travel).  I’d gotten back to my room with plenty of time to meet my roommate, get dressed up and get ready for the glamorous party night.

Little did I know, that what happened about an hour later, was a clue for my own health journey.  

This party night was a blast! There were 200 women signed up for the year long coaching program and as many as possible had come into LA that night.  This party was a kick off for an amazing year of learning, transformation and personal growth.  I was in my element.  Meeting so many like-minded, high-vibrational women for first time; amazing, strong, beautiful, brilliantly smart women, all up to great things in the world, with big hearts and souls ready to serve coaching clients.

BUT what happened for me was about an 1hr into the party, I went from feeling excited, lit up and full of life to all of a sudden I feeling:

-uneasy
-warm
-disoriented

As soon as I felt this way, I quickly excused myself from the group of women I was talking to.

Was it the heels? Was it the champagne? Was it all the excitement of the event? Was it the 10 miles I ran on the beach that afternoon?… something was wrong. I did not feel right.

I started making my way to the door, fresh air, I need fresh air I thought. Panic was overtaking me and my body started getting fuzzy.  The walk across the banquet room felt like the longest slowest walk of my life. Each step was slow motion. I couldn’t get to the door fast enough.

Next thing I knew I grabbed a women’s arm, “I think I am going to faint” I said.  She looked at me bewildered, there were barely seconds for her to respond before I blacked out.  Next thing I knew I was coming to and people were standing and kneeling over me.  My Coach’s husband was asking if I needed water, if I’d eaten anything?  Eventually all the people who had gathered around me and the hotel staff took me outside for fresh air and to help me feel better.

In the moment, it didn’t matter that I experienced that sinking heart disappointed feeling of the party going on without me.  All that mattered was that I was shaken up by the fainting and the overwhelming weakness that I felt in my body. What is wrong?… this is not normal I thought.

Lucky for me, we were staying at the Ritz Carlton and the kind staff wheel-chaired me to my room and brought me room service of chicken noodle soup, tea and seltzer water. They wanted to make sure I rested, was as comfortable as I could possibly be, and even more important, wanted to make sure that I didn’t need any additional medical attention.

Thankfully, my roommate for the weekend, was a fellow Mom, Health and Life Coach.  She wasn’t alarmed.  She was sweet, nurturing and helped take care of me and made sure I rested the rest of the night.

Now, 3 years later, and 15 months into my healing health journey, I look back, and recognize that this fainting episode…was a clue. My health dis-ease was already happening…my job was to slowly stop ignoring the clues, like fainting on this night and start paying attention.

I share this story today to inspire you for a body check in meditation, I know, I know, we are all pushing for great success, our life purpose, making a difference, … but I encourage you today to take some time out, go out into nature, sit on a bench in the sun, sit in a chair in your living room and meditate.

Meditate on what signs your body might be telling you.
– body, is anything wrong?
– body, is anything deficient?
– body, is there anything you need more of?
– body is there anything your body need less of?
– body, where are the places that I could eat better?
– body, where are the times that I could to eat more?
– body, where are the times that I could eat less?
– body, do you need more sleep? more time to relax? more rest?
– body, do you need that annual check up I’ve been too busy to have?

Breathe in.  Breathe out.  Ask 1 more question, what one thing could I do in the next hour? What 3 things could I do the rest of the day or week.

I wanted to share this story today as I was reflecting this morning of how amazing it is in our life journeys that before BIG things happen…it has been my experience that I can often look back and see where the Universe has left me clues.  

I am thankful today and always for the Universe and it’s clues. And of course so thankful if we can slow down long enough to get the messages before bigger and harder things happen.

In encouragement, strength and healing.

Meredith

mkm

 

How to use {Gratitude Tags} to make a major life change decision

October 2014

Are you in touch with what in life makes you your Happiest?  Most people are not.  The statistic is that only 1 in 100 people know what they want.  For me it took facing a career path life change to go deep and get my top 5 answers. What are yours? I found using a Gratitude Tag helped me connect to what I valued most and wanted. Read more to find out about how you can to.

I give you permission today to pause and give yourself some time to ask yourself this question: When are you your Happiest?  Personally, I find this an important decision making direction question when it comes to charting out the course of my life.  Once you’ve answered this question for yourself, and taken it one step further by writing it down you open yourself up to daily connecting to what makes you Happy. Being in touch daily with what makes you happy and come alive also helps facilitate you prioritizing these things. And please don’t stop at just one thing, make your list, first the top 3, then 5 more, keep going until you have 10!

Why is, “What makes you happy?” such a fundamental key soul connection question to ask yourself.  Soul seeking, spirit answering, go deep kind of question?  Personally, I found out this the hard way.  Not prioritizing all my values was a mistake I made for years.  I unconsciously carried a torch that being a competitive athlete; cycling or triathlon training or just great fitness in my own body made me so HAPPY “the rest” didn’t matter.  The other all important life components; like financial security, loving growing relationships, life purpose career path, time for myself were falling by the wayside.  I got lost in the stuck belief that “who was I to have everything I wanted.  Now that has changed.  I finally learned how to “do” life differently. This path, journey and belief system I followed for so many years wasn’t wrong …it was just limited thinking.

Just because you are happy in one area in your life doesn’t mean YOU CAN’T be happy in ALL areas of your life!!  Truth be told, allowing yourself to be happy in just one area  of your life is “settling”.  You don’t have to settle.  You only have one life and it can get good, really good!  How good are you going to let your life get?  You will have to do some work but you don’t have to settle. When you are not in touch with your true Heart’s Desires it is easy to forget this. If you are reading this then ask yourself,  “is this the time in my life for me to take on a new mindset that having it all is possible?  What does having it all it look like to you?  for you?

A year ago, in the Fall of 2013, I was making the decision to become a Life Coach. I was on a weekend get away with my boyfriend; my children’s Father had splurged for a trip to Disneyland so I had splurged for a weekend in one of my favorite, okay #2 favorite, Healing Spots: Solage Resort in Calistoga, CA. ( YES, Santa Barbara being my #1 healing and spiritual place).

The entire weekend I continued to work thru my mental {pros and cons list} of weither or not to commit to a vigorous, challenging and expensive 1 year program,  what kind of changes and sacrifices would this program mean to my already overstuffed busy life?  Again that negative limiting belief, “Who was I to really go for it in my life?”.  Then the universe gave my soul searching heart a gift.  The gift came in the form of brightly colored “Gratitude Trees”.

On that fall weekend get-a-way I woke up and did an early morning run thru downtown.  Just next to Indian Springs Resort (another wonderful place) I found some Gratitude Trees in downtown Calistoga.  The Trees were loaded with bright orange tags. They caught my eye and I re-routed off my course and ran closer to take a look.  As I got closer I realized that these brightly colored tags were full of  other people’s written heart’s desires. Each tree was labeled a theme;

  • past loves
  • what do you want more of
  • what do you want less of
  • what makes your happiest
  • what’s the best decision you ever made

I memorized the themes and ran back to my hotel to think, pray and journal about where I was and what I wanted to say. On the next morning I ran by the gorgeous brightly colored gratitude trees again.  This time I was ready to stop and write my answers down.

In reflecting back, this one, “I’m Happiest When….” meant the most to me.  I believe the power of this question aligns you with your LIFE PURPOSE and brings clarity to what you say “yes” to and what you say “no” to…everyday. Everyday in every moment, in every hour, in every action big or small, loving or not loving.  Don’t you want to be aligned in every step of your life to what you really want?

In October 2013, these were my TOP 5 heart’s desire’s, my own heart and soul offerings that I now continue to connect to and live by,
I’m happiest When:
…I have Love in my Heart
…My Family & Soulmate by My Side
…Money in the Bank
…A lasting influence of Health & Fitness
…A Healthy Body to Run, Bike & Swim

At the time I wrote this tag I was truly connecting to what makes me happiest and what I desired. However, in truth and reality I only had 1 of these 5 things where I wanted them in my life. So when I got back from that weekend I knew I had to take my own Leap of Faith and invest in a life coaching certification program that would support me doing the personal development necessary to investigate and take action to boost myself out of deficit and into the things I valued as important to my life and happiness. What a move.

Taking time to be connected with what makes you Happiest, might seam like everything from too much work… to a waste of time or just plain frustrating, regardless I encourage you to take the necessary steps to connect with what you really want.  In no time at all these things were alive, real and vibrant in my life.  In all my years of coaching since, I’ve never heard anyone not benefit from connecting to their soul or slowing down to ask the right prayerful questions and hear their spirit speak.

I challenge you today to put yourself in touch with what really matters to you.  Close your eyes, breathe in and out deeply and identify it, or borrow my favorite technique,  figure it out during a workout.

I also encourage you to use the idea of the GRATITUDE TREE to make your own Gratitude Tags, after you have done your work, please feel free to leave your favorites below in the comments.  Pick up some brightly colored tags and sharpie pens from your favorite office store or craft store.  Ask your kids or your significant other or friends to write their’s too.

Write it down and you are half way there to your Happiest.

Your partner in the soul-seeking journey!

Meredith

mkm

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I’m happiest when I have love in my heart, my family and soulmate by my side, money in the bank, a lasting influence of health & fitness, a healthy body to bike, run and swim.