It’s January 2016.
I am running a new path today. A path of healing. After 2 month’s “off” of coaching and working out I am so grateful and happy to be moving my body again. And when I say grateful I mean the deep down happy, soul level, happy to be back at life… grateful.
It all started in late October 2015, I woke up with flu symptoms that turned into days and days then weeks and weeks of life stopping migraines. Worse yet, occipital migraines which means my eyes couldn’t focus long enough for me to drive, let alone work, run or bike. Even reading or watching a movie was a stretch. I resolved myself to “listen” to movies. From the minute I woke up to the minute I went to bed I had what felt like a jack hammer echoing in my head. Overnight, this busy go-go-go Health and Life Coach, triathlete and solo parenting Mom of 2 was couch bound for weeks and life as I knew it was put on “hold”, complete standstill for 2 months.
WHAT did I do?……Right away I did 5 things when I got my diagnosis. First things first, I immediately went inward for healing. I increased my long time morning practice of journaling time and added meditation time. I came away from the ambulance ride, the ER visit, the pain killer medications and MRI results and turned to my holistic healers (acupuncture, osteopathic physician, essential oils, and energy chakra and sound therapy healers). I was determined not to be medicated and use nutrition to heal me. Please know that I didn’t find all the help I needed overnight it was a day by day, even hour by hour process. If you are facing a life threatening illness you must be patient.
I had a SIMPLE GOAL. Each day I just set out with a strong desire to live without massive pain radiating from my head to the rest of my body. I had a strong manta in my heart of, “I will change and do anything and everything to heal.” To heal, I started with baby steps. I wanted to reduce 24 hrs of migraine pain, to less 2 hours here and less 2 hours there…each day. “I just want to be migraine free” I kept saying. I also had family, friends, colleagues, clients and acquaintances pray for me when I got discouraged or overwhelmed with the questions of why me? and why now? I also took my family and friend’s up on their offers to help with my kids, groceries and meals. Both were hard. Sitting still was a task I had no developed muscle all on its own. And asking for help?!?! that was foraging new territory.
I have a good track record. You know the one where I tell you I’ve been here before and I’ve squeezed the lemons into lemonade. This season was different. It took me. It knocked the wind out of me. I had to be still. I had to suffer pain and discomfort on the physical level, not just the emotional. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t use my head. I couldn’t use my body. I couldn’t “brain override” the challenge in front of me. All the buzz about meditation and why we need to do it…is true! I had to just empty my thoughts, all of them, as if my head was a 3 story house with overstuffed rooms and all the rooms had to be moved out. My body was out of balance and demanding attention. I had to sit still and do the work to empty out each room. Item by item. Discard. Purge. Clear. And look again.
I was determined to get my brain quieted, migraines to cease, back to working out, back to driving and back to real life. I wanted to be off pain killers and off anxiety medicine. I wanted to be “back to normal”.
I understand this is a great undertaking. This is a journey. My 2016 healing journey. This brain tumor diagnosis, is here to teach me more than what I know right now. For this I am and will be grateful.
My question for you today is, “How do you handle yourself when life stops you in your tracks? “ How do you move when you get stuck?
My key learning in all this, or reminder, was a coach who reminded me that I am the “Keeper of my own flame”. By going inward I found my flame for life. From there I am daily led to find the help I need. What have you done lately to keep your own flame alive? The soul flame inside you? This health challenge season will be rich in lessons for me, if I allow it….will you let what you are struggling with expand, open and teach you?
Sending you Love and Health in your healing journey,