Tag Archives: Mindset

How I Manifested my Dream House

It’s move in day and you could JUST pinch me !!!

In my line of work as a life coach I live and breath intention, vision boards and manifesting…however, manifesting this Dream HOUSE, for ME and my children, in the ease and timeliness that it was found and came to me still has me over the moon excited and just blown away in a miracle of JOY.  Read on below to find out more.

 

It was June, I received a notice that made me think.

Less than 90 days ago…. I received a letter from my daughter’s school for residency.  It had been less than a year since I had left my previous live-in boyfriend. (That conscious uncoupling break up is a story for sharing on another day!)  The need to prove where I lived brought up the question in me, is this the right place? Is this where my kids and I need to be right now? Maybe it was time to consider change? Perhaps I needed a new plan. But, what was that plan??  I wasn’t sure.

I folded up the school letter, tucked it into my “to work on” file and jumped on a plane to LA. I’d had a business trip planned for months and I wanted to focus on my re-entry to working full time as a coach again. I didn’t want to be distracted off course thinking about a move.   Ahh, I don’t have to worry about this now I thought, as I headed to LA.  Of course the question kept looping in my head prodding at my attempt to travel in peace. In response I thought, no no, I can do this, I can stay in California another year, my current situation isn’t ideal,.. but enough of it is “okay”.  After all I need to just keep doing what I’d been doing, focusing 100% on regaining my optimal health. Please, I can’t think about a move right now.  I am comfortable…Ugh. I said that word. Comfortable. eek. That’s not my word. That thought left me unsettled but I still tuned out the need to think about a move just yet.

When your friends become examples…

Fast forward 6 weeks later.  I received another nudge. My dear and close friend, Erin,  who just so happened left Oregon the same year I left Oregon was leaving the Bay Area.  Her and her husband and their 3 girls had packed up and left for Idaho.  We met for a farewell walk on the beach and a nice goodbye dinner. In our lengthy conversation we agreed how hard it is as Mom’s, athletes and trainers to really make a living and afford a house in the increasingly expensive and overpopulated Bay Area.

It made me think again of the statistic of how only 10% of people KNOW what they really want….well Erin and I sure have known for a long while what we wanted. Fitness, happy family life and successful businesses.

Well I came home from that goodbye beach walk and dinner and thought about it.  It’d been a while since I thought about the Big Picture.  So much had changed in my life since fighting a brain tumor the last 2 years.  I’d been so focused on getting a clean MRI reading, living less migraine days and keeping on top of medical bills…. “Mere” Erin’s voice echoed,  “you gotta think about more then just paying the medical bills”. Oh yah, I thought, there is more to life then this !!  Oh yah,… who was I before I got sick??  What was I dreaming about? I had gone back to survival mode, otherwise known as settling or playing small.  *Note to self, time to start the dream intentions again.  Then dream bigger. Stop with the small stuff or the settling. Obviously I’d gotten off course a bit.

Life Coaching Exercise for Manifesting

The next morning in my meditative, writing time, I turned to a life coaching exercise.

  1.  I took out a sheet of blank copy paper.
  2.  On the top I wrote: “If I had a million dollars… I would ________________”.
  3.  I closed my eyes and thought.

The Answer I got:

Move to Eugene and buy my Ex-Father in Law’s House

Oh!….

With this exercise you utilize the notion that  you act {AS IF}.  As soon as you act {AS IF} your true hearts dreams and desires can get through.   Without blocks, limits, or excuses  in the way your clarity can come.

What blocks, limits or excuses you ask?  Come on, you know them; the resistance loops of “I don’t have the time”

“I don’t have the money”

“I don’t have the energy”

“I don’t have the time, money or the energy”…

Delete those.  Step into and focus on living in the possibility of what it could be for you.

 

Back to the Answer I got:  Move to Eugene and buy my Ex-Father in Law’s House

 

I got my answer, now what..

Well it was July and it just so happened that for a year and a half I had heard through my Ex that his Father was about to sell his house. Why did this matter?

For years I had loved this house. In my married days I’d spent many holidays and bbq’s there.  I looked at pictures of this house that called to me and lit up my heart’s desires.  I made a list of what spoke to me about this house and why I loved it.

Here is the list:

  • I loved the windows
  • I loved the wood work
  • I loved the huge kitchen with a gas stove
  • I loved the decks to enjoy the outside (there were 3)
  • I loved the gorgeous well kept landscaped garden
  • I loved the various trees that surrounded the property
  • it was in Eugene, close to my EX so my kids could see their Dad more
  • it was in Eugene, which meant I could get a much needed break from the go go go of city life

With manifesting, you recognize your heart’s desire and you repeatedly say “I desire THIS… or something better” and so I did this.   I completed this exercise and did the mantra. I spent time meditating on my heart’s desire and why (both in the morning 5-10 minutes and in the evenings 5-10 minutes before I went to bed). I pictured the house.  I saw myself in the house. I saw my kids in the house. I envisioned the friends, clients and gatherings I’d have in the house. I set my intention of a place that would be a sacred quiet sanctuary to recharge myself and raise my kids.

I focused on this house for a couple of weeks.  Talked to my ex about buying it.  Worked out what it would look like in my personal life and my business life, with my kids and my schedule to actually uproot from California and trek back up to Oregon, re-root and make Eugene, home base again. I saw the plan unfolding and the steps it would take to make it all happen.

Then an amazing thing happened.  The door Closed.

I didn’t get my Father-in-law’s house. The one on my vision board. The house went on the market and it went to someone else.  HUMPH!  Now what?  I didn’t miss a beat. Seriously! Not even a moment.

Apparently, I was completely in alignment with the idea of “this or something better”.  Hmm, this door has closed. I stayed in high energy, I stayed in curiosity. I didn’t abandon my hopes and dreams for this gorgeous sanctuary house. I had touched into what I desired and I wasn’t shaken by the change of events.

“Ok, Universe,” I said,  “what do you have in mind for me and my children now?”  Being on board with Gabby Bernstein and her well versed book and mantra “the universe has my back” I didn’t lose hope for even a moment.

I jumped right into,  “Ok, what else could it be? what else could it be? what else could it be?”

By the next morning after hearing the news of losing out on the house, I started in on plan B, for me it was a start of looking for rentals.  A couple days of this went by.  I made a little list: South Eugene, a place with hard wood floors, a big kitchen to cook in.  I sent out a couple emails even did a “wanted” posting.  Waiting and staying in action in full 100% anticipation that the right house was out there for me and my children.  I kept thinking in curiosity of what was “better” than the house on my vision board.

On about the 4th day, I set out to look and I took time to meditate before I went on the computer.  Up until that day I’d been jumping online as soon as I woke up looking for what had posted since the night before.  Reminder, *Note to self keep that first 30 minutes every day clear for meditative thought or writing … the phone, the computer full of messages, facebook updates or instagrams can wait. ! Life is a lot easier if you lead it and not just start your day in a reactive state.

“look for 2 bedrooms“…. I heard. 

Boom, I jumped on my computer and reduced my search criteria to 2 bedrooms (I have 2 kids, a boy and a girl, of course I’d been looking for 3 bedrooms, why would I look for 2?).  The first thing that popped up was this gorgeous dream house.  I circled through the pictures. My heart racing that sweet pleasure pulse of excitement. This is it!!  I felt.  Exactly what I wanted. I didn’t even have to look at my previous list. I knew it had everything I had loved about my Ex-Father in law’s house and more…

  • lots of windows
  • gorgeous wood work
  • a huge kitchen with a gas stove
  • decks to enjoy the outside (there were 3)
  • gorgeous well kept landscaped gardens
  • trees surrounding the property
  • located in Eugene, close to my EX so my kids could see their Dad more
  • located in Eugene, which means I could get a break from city life

Even better than, and more fitting to what I had originally had had my heart set on.  Wow.  This manifestation of my heart’s desire had truly taken REAL LIFE FORM.  What an awesome miracle and blessing.  This house even had extra’s.  A view of the sunset. It was tucked away on a quiet cul-de-sac.  It was in South Eugene, close to the running trails.  The house also has a meditative rose garden with a fountain. In addition to a fountain in the front yard that I could look at and hear while in the kitchen. Oh, I could go on and on. What a complete dream.   Thank you! Thank you! Thank you Universe I have said over and over.

So please, I share this miracle story with you to encourage you that you too can manifest your heart’s desire.

Move past the excuses of not having the time… the money… the energy or all three!!  And just sit with what you really desire, {AS IF} you already had complete access to what it took to get it.

Trust me I share this to remind you that I know how hard it is to Dream Big, when you’ve gone thru a trauma, disappointment, heartbreak, illness, etc of any kind. It’s hard to dream big when you have defaulted to survivor mode.  If you are there, please don’t hesitate to schedule a call with me.  There is something about really accessing what you really want, beyond your limited thinking, beyond where you can’t see past yourself to that bigger picture. That bigger picture that is waiting for you.

If you told me 90 days ago that I’d be moving into this gorgeous dream house on Sept 1, I would have FREAKED OUT!!  No way I would have told you!  How could that happen? But it DID !

Thank you for reading! Here’s to not forgetting your power !

In all love and gratitude.

Meredith K. Mills

Please message me at meredith.mills.lifecoach@gmail.com to share your dreams and manifesting miracles with me.  To your great success and happiness.

 

 

 

 

How do you tell your child that you have a brain tumor? and not let your own FEAR scare them to death?

I just had a conversation on the way to school this morning with my 10 year old son, Ryder, about Brain Tumor Awareness Week. Yes! It’s this week!
I asked him what he remembered about that day, the day I told him that his Mom had a brain tumor…(he was 8 yo at the time).
“I was surprised, Mom, I wasn’t scared… I was just surprised”…
Ahh…I breathed a deep sigh of relief and thought …“Well done Mama”….
In those first few days of being diagnosed, I confess that I was as emotionally stable “as a piece of furniture from Ikea”…. however, I didn’t want my kids to experience that with me !!! I myself was uncomfortable and having a hard time processing all these emotions.
I wanted them to experience me as they always had; strong, stable, steady, solid. (Of course also happy, healthy, vibrant, playful & fun but those were temporarily on the back burner.)
As their loving Mama, I had always made a point of telling them that I could be counted on no matter what, that I had their backs, and that I would always love them unconditionally, no matter what. Those values were now in question.
There I was swimming in the whirlwind of emotion. Emotion that I needed to experience to figure out my treatment plan and accept, come to terms with and allow what was happening for me. I was feeling it all:
– fear
– grief
– anger
– sadness
– frustration
– pain
I knew I was feeling all these feelings that were triggered by having to face and “deal with” being diagnosed with a life threatening illness or disease. However, I knew I needed a strategy of how to deal with my own personal journey but also be strong for my kids. I wanted to be that good teacher to them, I wanted to weave the vulnerability of honesty and truth, but also faith and strength into the tapestry of our family experience. These small ones in my life were, and always are, like sponges, they absorb everything. I didn’t want them to take on too much nor too little.
On my own, I diligently faced my own perceived loss of health, loss of control, loss of confidence, loss of life as I knew it. I faced being frozen in my tracks. But with them I showed up with borrowed faith, for their benefit and then in turn my benefit as well.
What I remember about that day is I sat down with my kids to intentionally share with them to the level in which they “needed to know”, at the level that would inform them but not overwhelm them. Face to face.  Looking them both into their eyes. I led with “Mom is going to be okay…..Mom is healthy and strong….but…right now I have to see a lot of Doctor’s and get a lot of treatment…I am going to need a lot of rest. No matter what, I love you and I am going to face this thing head on. You have my promise! Nothing is more important in my life than being there for you! It might take a few weeks…it might take a few years before I am back to 100% but know that I will be here for you!!!”
So with Ryder’s words this morning,
“I was surprised, Mom, I wasn’t scared… I was just surprised”…
I am thankful and full of gratitude that all my intentions were honored. Ryder was, and to this day, informed but not overwhelmed. Aware of what I am going thru, along side me in my journey but not scared.
So in my book, choosing to live in Love over FEAR will always be the right answer. I gotta be here for these Kids!! For me! For my life-purpose…after all I more than know that I am just getting started, just getting my feet wet, on this life of service, life purpose path.
In health, In healing and more importantly in great Love,
Meredith
mkm

Divorce Recovery 5 years out: Showing up with more love and more forgiveness

Feb. 26, 2017

I had a “Facebook memory” this a.m. and was moved to recognize THIS woman I was 5 years ago!!!
There I was….facing Change, Loss and Transition. In 1 day my life as I knew it changed. Security, Love, Marriage, Trust, Faith, Safe Harbor, Comfort, etc etc was gone.
What did I do?…in that deep valley of pain?…, all I knew was to focus #1 on God and I asked him over and over and over,…in anger, in frustration, in Why Me?, in tears, in fear, on my knees, in weeping, in prayer, in sadness, in disappointment, in loneliness, in weakness…..and the answers kept coming.
The Best thing I did was find myself, find my strength.
I returned to my outer strength of being a Competitive Athlete.
What was life giving to me? I returned to running, biking, swimming. These adventures and workouts made me feel free, strong, and that my whole life was ahead of me and that I could handle “anything” that was coming my way, not that my life was “over”…..It also helped me move thru all the emotions I was experiencing.
So today I celebrate!! Wahoo! Cheers to this Woman I was 5 years ago, on the cliff’s just north of UCSB. Enjoying the beach, the trails, the salt water air, the breathtaking views of the ocean, the sounds of the waves. Soaking it all in. I was also the fittest I’d ever been (2 months out from qualifying for Triathlon World Championships, and 1 month out from PR half marathon 1:35!! beating the PR I set when I was 24!! That felt good to have my body at optimal health and performance.
And to the emotional part, the inner strength that has all continued to be work in progress. After I reclaimed and built up those outer muscles the inner strength has followed. I have continued to spend the last 5 years of realigning myself with God and his plans for my life, working thru relationships that have grown me and challenged me. And of course the health and healing journey!!
Now it is a continued cycle of renewing my faith in my future by being more present then I’ve ever been able to be. Taking time out to meditate, pray and show up FULLY every day, in ALL my relationships with
#forgiveness
#love
The 35 year old version of me was so set on what my life was suppose to be AND I didn’t have the tools to surrender and forgive when that life path, life expectation changed.
The 40+ version of me keeps saying….. build that muscle, build that muscle, build that muscle. AND keep going…..
Showing up with more love, more forgiveness, more love, more forgiveness.
Sending you all much HOPE this morning.
Hugs in the healing journey!!!

Meredith

mkm

Even Health Coaches get Sick…What 5 things I did when I got a brain tumor diagnosis

MiamiBeachrun

It’s January 2016.

I am running a new path today.  A path of healing.  After 2 month’s “off” of coaching and working out I am so grateful and happy to be moving my body again.  And when I say grateful I mean the deep down happy, soul level, happy to be back at life… grateful.

It all started in late October 2015, I woke up with flu symptoms that turned into days and days then weeks and weeks of life stopping migraines.  Worse yet, occipital migraines which means my eyes couldn’t focus long enough for me to drive, let alone work, run or bike.  Even reading or watching a movie was a stretch. I resolved myself to “listen” to movies.   From the minute I woke up to the minute I went to bed I had what felt like a jack hammer echoing in my head.  Overnight, this busy go-go-go Health and Life Coach, triathlete and solo parenting Mom of 2 was couch bound for weeks and life as I knew it was put on “hold”, complete standstill  for 2 months.

WHAT did I do?……Right away I did 5 things when I got my diagnosis.  First things first, I immediately went inward for healing.  I increased my long time morning practice of journaling time and added meditation time.  I came away from the ambulance ride, the ER visit, the pain killer medications and MRI results and turned to my holistic healers (acupuncture, osteopathic physician, essential oils, and energy chakra and sound therapy healers).  I was determined not to be medicated and use nutrition to heal me.  Please know that I didn’t find all the help I needed overnight it was a day by day, even hour by hour process.  If you are facing a life threatening illness you must be patient.

I had a SIMPLE GOAL.  Each day I just set out with a strong desire to live without massive pain radiating from my head to the rest of my body.  I had a strong manta in my heart of, “I will change and do anything and everything to heal.”  To heal, I started with baby steps. I wanted to reduce 24 hrs of migraine pain, to less 2 hours here and less 2 hours there…each day.  “I just want to be migraine free” I kept saying.   I also had family, friends, colleagues, clients and acquaintances pray for me when I got discouraged or overwhelmed with the questions of why me? and why now?  I also took my family and friend’s up on their offers to help with my kids, groceries and meals.  Both were hard.  Sitting still was a task I had no developed muscle all on its own.  And asking for help?!?! that was foraging new territory.

I have a good track record.  You know the one where I tell you I’ve been here before and I’ve squeezed the lemons into lemonade.  This season was different.  It took me. It knocked the wind out of me.  I had to be still.  I had to suffer pain and discomfort on the physical level, not just the emotional.  I couldn’t think.  I couldn’t use my head.  I couldn’t use my body.  I couldn’t “brain override” the challenge in front of me.  All the buzz about meditation and why we need to do it…is true!  I had to just empty my thoughts, all of them, as if my head was a 3 story house with overstuffed rooms and all the rooms had to be moved out.  My body was out of balance and demanding attention.  I had to sit still and do the work to empty out each room.  Item by item.  Discard. Purge. Clear.  And look again. 

I was determined to get my brain quieted, migraines to cease, back to working out, back to driving and back to real life.  I wanted to be off pain killers and off anxiety medicine.  I wanted to be “back to normal”.

I understand this is a great undertaking.  This is a journey.  My 2016 healing journey.  This brain tumor diagnosis, is here to teach me more than what I know right now.  For this  I am and will be grateful.

My question for you today is,  “How do you handle yourself when life stops you in your tracks? “ How do you move when you get stuck?

My key learning in all this, or reminder, was a coach who reminded me that I am the “Keeper of my own flame”.   By going inward I found my flame for life. From there I am daily led to find the help I need.  What have you done lately to keep your own flame alive?  The soul flame inside you?  This health challenge season will be rich in lessons for me, if I allow it….will you let what you are struggling with expand, open and teach you?

Sending you Love and Health in your healing journey,

Meredith 

mKm

 

 

 

 

How to use {Gratitude Tags} to make a major life change decision

October 2014

Are you in touch with what in life makes you your Happiest?  Most people are not.  The statistic is that only 1 in 100 people know what they want.  For me it took facing a career path life change to go deep and get my top 5 answers. What are yours? I found using a Gratitude Tag helped me connect to what I valued most and wanted. Read more to find out about how you can to.

I give you permission today to pause and give yourself some time to ask yourself this question: When are you your Happiest?  Personally, I find this an important decision making direction question when it comes to charting out the course of my life.  Once you’ve answered this question for yourself, and taken it one step further by writing it down you open yourself up to daily connecting to what makes you Happy. Being in touch daily with what makes you happy and come alive also helps facilitate you prioritizing these things. And please don’t stop at just one thing, make your list, first the top 3, then 5 more, keep going until you have 10!

Why is, “What makes you happy?” such a fundamental key soul connection question to ask yourself.  Soul seeking, spirit answering, go deep kind of question?  Personally, I found out this the hard way.  Not prioritizing all my values was a mistake I made for years.  I unconsciously carried a torch that being a competitive athlete; cycling or triathlon training or just great fitness in my own body made me so HAPPY “the rest” didn’t matter.  The other all important life components; like financial security, loving growing relationships, life purpose career path, time for myself were falling by the wayside.  I got lost in the stuck belief that “who was I to have everything I wanted.  Now that has changed.  I finally learned how to “do” life differently. This path, journey and belief system I followed for so many years wasn’t wrong …it was just limited thinking.

Just because you are happy in one area in your life doesn’t mean YOU CAN’T be happy in ALL areas of your life!!  Truth be told, allowing yourself to be happy in just one area  of your life is “settling”.  You don’t have to settle.  You only have one life and it can get good, really good!  How good are you going to let your life get?  You will have to do some work but you don’t have to settle. When you are not in touch with your true Heart’s Desires it is easy to forget this. If you are reading this then ask yourself,  “is this the time in my life for me to take on a new mindset that having it all is possible?  What does having it all it look like to you?  for you?

A year ago, in the Fall of 2013, I was making the decision to become a Life Coach. I was on a weekend get away with my boyfriend; my children’s Father had splurged for a trip to Disneyland so I had splurged for a weekend in one of my favorite, okay #2 favorite, Healing Spots: Solage Resort in Calistoga, CA. ( YES, Santa Barbara being my #1 healing and spiritual place).

The entire weekend I continued to work thru my mental {pros and cons list} of weither or not to commit to a vigorous, challenging and expensive 1 year program,  what kind of changes and sacrifices would this program mean to my already overstuffed busy life?  Again that negative limiting belief, “Who was I to really go for it in my life?”.  Then the universe gave my soul searching heart a gift.  The gift came in the form of brightly colored “Gratitude Trees”.

On that fall weekend get-a-way I woke up and did an early morning run thru downtown.  Just next to Indian Springs Resort (another wonderful place) I found some Gratitude Trees in downtown Calistoga.  The Trees were loaded with bright orange tags. They caught my eye and I re-routed off my course and ran closer to take a look.  As I got closer I realized that these brightly colored tags were full of  other people’s written heart’s desires. Each tree was labeled a theme;

  • past loves
  • what do you want more of
  • what do you want less of
  • what makes your happiest
  • what’s the best decision you ever made

I memorized the themes and ran back to my hotel to think, pray and journal about where I was and what I wanted to say. On the next morning I ran by the gorgeous brightly colored gratitude trees again.  This time I was ready to stop and write my answers down.

In reflecting back, this one, “I’m Happiest When….” meant the most to me.  I believe the power of this question aligns you with your LIFE PURPOSE and brings clarity to what you say “yes” to and what you say “no” to…everyday. Everyday in every moment, in every hour, in every action big or small, loving or not loving.  Don’t you want to be aligned in every step of your life to what you really want?

In October 2013, these were my TOP 5 heart’s desire’s, my own heart and soul offerings that I now continue to connect to and live by,
I’m happiest When:
…I have Love in my Heart
…My Family & Soulmate by My Side
…Money in the Bank
…A lasting influence of Health & Fitness
…A Healthy Body to Run, Bike & Swim

At the time I wrote this tag I was truly connecting to what makes me happiest and what I desired. However, in truth and reality I only had 1 of these 5 things where I wanted them in my life. So when I got back from that weekend I knew I had to take my own Leap of Faith and invest in a life coaching certification program that would support me doing the personal development necessary to investigate and take action to boost myself out of deficit and into the things I valued as important to my life and happiness. What a move.

Taking time to be connected with what makes you Happiest, might seam like everything from too much work… to a waste of time or just plain frustrating, regardless I encourage you to take the necessary steps to connect with what you really want.  In no time at all these things were alive, real and vibrant in my life.  In all my years of coaching since, I’ve never heard anyone not benefit from connecting to their soul or slowing down to ask the right prayerful questions and hear their spirit speak.

I challenge you today to put yourself in touch with what really matters to you.  Close your eyes, breathe in and out deeply and identify it, or borrow my favorite technique,  figure it out during a workout.

I also encourage you to use the idea of the GRATITUDE TREE to make your own Gratitude Tags, after you have done your work, please feel free to leave your favorites below in the comments.  Pick up some brightly colored tags and sharpie pens from your favorite office store or craft store.  Ask your kids or your significant other or friends to write their’s too.

Write it down and you are half way there to your Happiest.

Your partner in the soul-seeking journey!

Meredith

mkm

IMG_1109

I’m happiest when I have love in my heart, my family and soulmate by my side, money in the bank, a lasting influence of health & fitness, a healthy body to bike, run and swim.