Healthy Mom

Brain Tumor Survivor Stats…1 year out

DEC. 3, 2016

So my 1 year update MRI is in….
12mm x 10mm x 6mm – Nov. ’15
12mm x 10mm x 6 mm – Nov. ‘16
This means…. {NO GROWTH}

Now, the question on the table, the question I have been sitting with all week…

DO YOU NEED TO KNOW THAT THE BRAIN TUMOR IS REMOVED? OR WOULD YOU BE SATISFIED KNOWING THE GROWTH IS ARRESTED?…

Well….no growth for a year does mean my tumor is arrested…is that enough?…

This was a tough one with me this week. The problem solver. The goal oriented achiever.
Yes, absolutely with out a doubt I am so so thankful there has been no growth!!
Yet, I did want to see progress!…I had to keep myself from spinning out…another year of this…ugh !!

Am I SATISFIED…well what do you think?
That was a clear… NO!
(I didn’t even have to muscle test that one.)

I spent time this week regrouping and realigning with the BIG Picture.
I traveled thru the lessons, learnings, healing and growth the last 12 months have been about and I get the bigger picture…Just because I “get it” though doesn’t mean it is not hard to face.

My goals now:
– Continue to seek and find answers and the right treatments for my tumor symptoms and pain management.
– Continuing to take good care of myself (adequate exercise and sleep) so I don’t get Physically depleted.
– Continue to increase my ability to FACE this HEAD on. Which means continuing to take action & not give up.
– Continue to nourish my brain and central nervous system with the best supplements and nutrition
– Continue to surround myself with the people who are loving me and supporting me thru this and that with me hold that hope and Vision of a clean MRI and the most optimal health I can achieve with the cards I have been dealt.

Please continue sending your prayers, love and light. Please continue to pray for more healthy painfree days and less migraine days, less hours and even less minutes.

Love and health to ALL of YOU!!
Meredith Mills

mkm

How do you tell your child that you have a brain tumor? and not let your own FEAR scare them to death?

I just had a conversation on the way to school this morning with my 10 year old son, Ryder, about Brain Tumor Awareness Week. Yes! It’s this week!
I asked him what he remembered about that day, the day I told him that his Mom had a brain tumor…(he was 8 yo at the time).
“I was surprised, Mom, I wasn’t scared… I was just surprised”…
Ahh…I breathed a deep sigh of relief and thought …“Well done Mama”….
In those first few days of being diagnosed, I confess that I was as emotionally stable “as a piece of furniture from Ikea”…. however, I didn’t want my kids to experience that with me !!! I myself was uncomfortable and having a hard time processing all these emotions.
I wanted them to experience me as they always had; strong, stable, steady, solid. (Of course also happy, healthy, vibrant, playful & fun but those were temporarily on the back burner.)
As their loving Mama, I had always made a point of telling them that I could be counted on no matter what, that I had their backs, and that I would always love them unconditionally, no matter what. Those values were now in question.
There I was swimming in the whirlwind of emotion. Emotion that I needed to experience to figure out my treatment plan and accept, come to terms with and allow what was happening for me. I was feeling it all:
– fear
– grief
– anger
– sadness
– frustration
– pain
I knew I was feeling all these feelings that were triggered by having to face and “deal with” being diagnosed with a life threatening illness or disease. However, I knew I needed a strategy of how to deal with my own personal journey but also be strong for my kids. I wanted to be that good teacher to them, I wanted to weave the vulnerability of honesty and truth, but also faith and strength into the tapestry of our family experience. These small ones in my life were, and always are, like sponges, they absorb everything. I didn’t want them to take on too much nor too little.
On my own, I diligently faced my own perceived loss of health, loss of control, loss of confidence, loss of life as I knew it. I faced being frozen in my tracks. But with them I showed up with borrowed faith, for their benefit and then in turn my benefit as well.
What I remember about that day is I sat down with my kids to intentionally share with them to the level in which they “needed to know”, at the level that would inform them but not overwhelm them. Face to face.  Looking them both into their eyes. I led with “Mom is going to be okay…..Mom is healthy and strong….but…right now I have to see a lot of Doctor’s and get a lot of treatment…I am going to need a lot of rest. No matter what, I love you and I am going to face this thing head on. You have my promise! Nothing is more important in my life than being there for you! It might take a few weeks…it might take a few years before I am back to 100% but know that I will be here for you!!!”
So with Ryder’s words this morning,
“I was surprised, Mom, I wasn’t scared… I was just surprised”…
I am thankful and full of gratitude that all my intentions were honored. Ryder was, and to this day, informed but not overwhelmed. Aware of what I am going thru, along side me in my journey but not scared.
So in my book, choosing to live in Love over FEAR will always be the right answer. I gotta be here for these Kids!! For me! For my life-purpose…after all I more than know that I am just getting started, just getting my feet wet, on this life of service, life purpose path.
In health, In healing and more importantly in great Love,
Meredith
mkm

How I met my husband & won $1999 to pay for my Wedding…without even knowing about “Manifesting Money”

WeddingMoney

January 1999………………….

When I was a 23 year-old college student I met and fell in love with my best friend.

We met on the cycling team at U.C. Santa Barbara.  The first time I remember meeting him was on a afternoon team training ride.  I had taken a year off of cycling to compete in my first ever ironman distance triathlon, Ironman Canada 1996 and Ironman Vineman 1996.  In my season “off” from cycling, he had joined the team and made friends with everyone I knew.

On the start of the ride that morning, I just so happen to comment to him, “Hey, nice bike! I had that up until yesterday…”… silence…no response from him.  The bike was a Specialized Allez Pro… I had been on a training ride the day before with a teammate and we had been struck by a car pulling out of the flower growing fields south of Santa Barbara. The car had been blinded by the sun and had only stopped because he heard “screaming” and not because he saw us.  I was feeling pretty thankful. Happy to Be Alive. And lucky to not have been injured.  My Specialized Allez Pro racing bike on the other hand was TOTALED!!.  Since the collegiate cycling season was a few weeks from kick off … my friends’ husband, at the time a bike mechanic at one of the local shops, volunteered to stay all night at the shop switching over the frame to a loaner and building a bike for me so that I had something within 24 hrs to continue to training and racing on.

This guy however did not give me the time of day… Hmm. A challenge.  What is his deal?Later as we met a couple more times and got to know each other I came to find out that he hadn’t even heard me  that day…(***note to self…if you get the nerve to say something to someone, project more!).

So from there on, we raced, we traveled, we bonded, we fell in love.  He, the tactful sprinter, me the road racer who worked too hard… my racing tactics rapidly started improving with his influence.

Before I met him I was always doing too much in a race because I loved to work hard, loved the challenge of going fast and racing well.  I didn’t embody or anywhere show up with the “need to win”. My love of the sport and friendships formed is what drove me.   He showed up and started challenging me:

“If you are going to race, race!”

“plan ahead”

“Do you even know where the finish line is?”

“Ride the first lap, even the warm up lap thinking of your plan and how you are going to win.”

Hmm, … as I reflect now, sounds a lot like how life coaching is.

So now, back to the Manifesting Money story… fast forward 2 years.  We had gotten engaged. In that time of our relationship both my sisters had gotten married, I was eager to “settle down” as well.   I was a twin. I adored partnership. I knew backwards and forwards that I thrived in relationships, especially intimate committed ones.  I thrive talking and being with my best friend. That was a deep and cherished relationship for me.

More On Money, though I had 2 degree’s and was a recent college grad, I was working an entry level job.  My goal purely was to have {The Schedule} to bike race every weekend. Can you say “single-focus”?  I was living out my dream and discipline of doing what it took to become a professional cyclist.

Then all of a sudden our Wedding was less than 90 days away!   As I mentioned both my sister’s had gotten married.. .so being in a family of 3 girls, there wan’t any family gift money left for my wedding. Opps… last in line.

{Declare and be in touch with what you Need}  I had told my dear running partner on a training run that week that my fiancé and I needed at least $2k.   We just needed to find the money to pay off our rings… the ones that said “teammates”… and to pay our deposit for the Ceremony before we lost our reservation at a lovely hotel we had chosen across from one of the Santa Barbara beaches that we loved.

That afternoon my running partner and I had walked thru Gold’s Gym to shower.  A roommate’s friend said hello to me and gave me an extra ticket. He told me it was going to be an amazing party with lots of free food.  I hadn’t even thought about going to the party. My fiancee and I had so much wedding preparation not to mention apartment shopping to do.  However, the gym employee talked up the party so much that I had to go.  Of course it didn’t hurt that we were living on a shoe string ex collegiate – about to get married – budget so “free food” was the draw.  I walked out of the gym Friday afternoon convinced. We are going to that party.

I remembered later going home that night and seeing the original raffle ticket and invitation that had been mailed to me on my bulletin board a couple weeks before.  Hmm, maybe this could be it?  Honestly, my fiancé and I needed the money “so badly !!!” that I wasn’t even thinking of how amazing it would be if I WON it, I mean after all, who does that?

That night I told my fiancee about the party.  We are going I said!!  We spent the day apartment shopping as planned. I dragged my fiance to the party at Gold’s Gym, for the FREE FOOD I said.  The party was a lot of fun.  We hung out, talked to friends.  We stood at the back watching the raffle prizes go….not even engaged!!!

Then it happened, I had just turned to a C0-worker and asked her and her husband what they were doing after.  Then all of sudden {EVERYONE was staring at me}.

The sea of people turned…the Club’s Manager had called my name:

“Meredith Thomason”…..

There was screaming and cheering, thundering around me.

My whole body started shaking… I slowly walked up there, in fact I think the crowd nudged me up there.

One of the trainer’s pulled me up on stage.  He handed me a $1 bill.

Oh Geesh, this is a joke, this is the pre-Grand prize draw…they are playing a trick on me.  I just stood there shaking, trying to act “normal” and “calm”.

I just looked at the dollar bill and forced a bewildered smile.  I looked out at all the people staring at me.  The room was becoming quiet.

Next thing I know they club manager was beside me, smiling from ear to ear, pumping my hand so hard it hurt….handing me one of those Cardboard Checks…..

This one said $1999,00 !!!!!

The party was over …. I WAS THE GRAND PRIZE WINNER….

Really? Really ? Really?….. yes, it took minutes, hours, days to SINK IN.

The rest of the night was a whirl-wind.  My fiancé and I were swept into the office.  Cashiers check’s were handed to us.  CAN you say shock?  I was speechless I really couldn’t even talk.  My fiancé just kept smiling and celebrating with me.

Later that night I called my running partner…..”You will NOT believe what happened….

Oh MY GOD !!! YOU WON the money ?????

The wedding will Happen !!!

Of course, with luck like that………this one is meant to BE  !!!  The relief and joy overtook. GOD is good.  God knows exactly how much your wedding cost.  Exactly what your needs are. But you need to show up and be in touch with your need. You need to say it out loud. And of course Be open to where it may come in!!

Because WHO KNOWS what is in place for you.  TRUST and BELIEVE